Honesty is neccessary in LOVE..

I had always thought myself to be a fairly honest person, and by society’s standards I was. But what society considers honest and what true honesty really is, are two separate things. We’ve been systematically taught in our culture to make lying a part of our lives. We do it so often that we don’t even notice it anymore.

Honesty is telling "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.” Society’s definition of the truth telling is to tell the truth ONLY if it doesn’t make anyone uncomfortable, doesn’t cause a conflict, and it makes you look good.

I’m not talking about the big lies, but more about the consistent, persistent "lies of omission" and "white lies" we tell people almost everyday. For me, I didn’t even consider these small untruths to be lies until I experienced the exact opposite. The whole truth.

It hadn’t realized exactly how dishonest I was and how much of myself I was holding back. This dishonesty caused me to feel disconnected from others and created small walls between me and my partner. When I withheld my whole truth, I withheld others from seeing all of me. This may be fine in most relationships but not in my primary relationship with my partner, I wanted all of me to be loved, even those parts I judged as bad or wrong.

If I wanted to create true intimacy and closeness, I was going to have to let my partner see ALL of me. This was very scary for me because what if he got angry, or hurt, or decided "all of me" was not what he wanted and left the relationship? But then, what kind of relationship would I have if he only knew part of me?

“Honesty can be tough but it’s necessary if you want a close intimate relationship.”

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All I needed was just one opportunity to find someone that I knew would understand me.
I searched far and wide, I searched for just one just one person who understood me. I knew that if I found him nothing would ever be the same. I was losing in the game of life. I never really showed my true self to anyone; I lingered beneath myself hoping to be given the chance to show people who I am. I was just another somebody who searched for her soul mate, not just anybody, who would show me the way to the true me. I wanted to show someone the side of me that people didn’t know, and now that I have met you, you have made something happen. Something that I’m not afraid to let out, I felt it when I met you. I felt it when every word we exchanged and every moment we spent together forever was carved into my mind, soul, and heart. I gave you all of me and you gave me all of you. Tonight as I lay here next to you, twenty years later, all those feelings are very much alive. Nothing or no one can change that. With you I am the future, the present, and the past. I LOVE YOU and without you I’m nothing.. YOU WERE MEANT FOR ME & I WAS MEANT FOR YOU…..

let it die... friend....

One of friend has been in love with a guy who doesn’t want her. I’ve gone from encouraging her to pitying her. She really will not let him go. Because I’ve had horrible experiences with guys once I feel as if I don’t have a chance I can really just move on, she unfortunately cannot. In most aspects of our lives she is the dependable reasonable friend, but when it comes to this fruitless longing she is a true fool. She remembers every detail of his life, reads into every friendly action or word, and finds ways to be around him as much as possible. They are friends so its not like she’s a total crazy, but she’s getting there. I really wish should could find another guy so that she can get over him. The more I think and type about this the more upset I feel. I don’t even feel sad for her about this anymore (terrible I know) I just feel like the whole thing is stupid, but I could never tell her in a million years.